It’s still half term, and time to reflect upon where we are in life. The kids are doing super well, and I am – as always – 100 percent proud of them and their accomplishments. Every piece of work, every new skill mastered, every single moment where they demonstrate that they are learning and growing and being happy little people, to the best of their aptitudes and abilities
For me, life can be more challenging. All those dull, grown up cares. The worry about where my life is taking me, the sacrifices that need to be made, and the uncertainty over the future. It is slightly exacerbated by the choice to homeschool my beautiful babies. It means my career options are limited, finding a job outside the home would require costly childcare, and I feel increasingly adrift as I ponder whether I have other feasible options.
Cupcakes of Happiness.
We recently made cupcakes, complete with swirls of buttercream frosting and haphazard sugar decorations. It was, apparently, the highlight of my children’s week! In some ways I feel both blessed and rather guilty. When did we, grown ups, lose sight of the simple things in life? When did I start feeling so old and broken?
Kintsugi is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with golden lacquer. The philosophy, as I understand it, is that a broken item can be mended and become even more beautiful – while respecting the past and not hiding the problems. While I chase the dream of a paying gig, I want to kintsugi my life. I want to emerge stronger, more beautiful, and better reflect the pure light of my children – who are the centre of my world. I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know exactly what my next steps will be. (My current goals are simply to sleep more soundly, gain a more positive mindset, and to sell at least one item in my TpT store.) Wish me luck! If nothing else, wish us more cupcakes. If my kids are happy, that’s what matters most to me.
By Daderot (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons
February 24, 2017 at 2:42 pm
What a lovely way of viewing things – kintsugi – and a lesson learned for me. I wholeheartedly agree, and have felt similar myself in terms of losing pleasure and appreciation for the smaller things. Gaining some perspective, being in the moment, appreciating the ‘flaws’ and challenges, whilst looking positively towards the future… <3
February 24, 2017 at 6:07 pm
My health has made me sit back a bit and focus more on the simple things in life too and it’s amazing how much you can miss when you’re busy rushing around isn’t it? One thing I’ve learnt with parenting though is that you end up feeling guilty that what you are doing is wrong/not enough no matter what you do- well I feel that way a lot of the time anyway! All the best x
February 25, 2017 at 6:16 am
The economic crisis and what Brexit will mean for expats both invade my thoughts far more than I like. Worrying will do nothing to change things, I know that, but still concerns can worm their way in even when uninvited. I think the Japanese were onto something when they created Kintsugi, one day I hope that Greece will emerge from the crisis, shimmering in gold having learned a valuable lesson… Oh, for the simple pleasures like baking cakes!
Thank you for linking up with the #MMBC.
xx
March 1, 2017 at 5:16 pm
what a moving post! I so feel where you’re at having been there many times during our home ed years! Just remember it is an AMAZING thing you do with your children homeschooling them and is also an ENORMOUS personal challenge – you’re likely to feel a little ragged sometimes. Cut yourself some slack!! But you are not old and broken; you will be GROWING too. And growing is tiring and frustratingly doesn’t always have measurable outcomes – just like for the children! Be proud of yourself, of all you do, as you are proud of the children. Thought I’d just drop in and say, for I silently SO appreciate all the ‘likes’ you pop on my blog – I should show my appreciation more often. All the best. x
March 1, 2017 at 6:34 pm
Thank you, Ross. Easier said than done… but I’m trying. x